The person who got burned..... last
week was Ann Smith--maybe not burned, but roasted and
toasted. Ann is the owner of Pamela Printing, a long-time
Fort Bend business, and in January her house blew up in
Missouri City due to a gas leak. Although her house and
personal effect were blown to smithereens with hardly
anything left over the size of a quarter, Ann, who was
asleep in her bed, sustained only minor injuries. She has
been called Missouri City’s miracle.
The Sugar Land Cultural Arts wanted to do
something for Ann as she has been a long-time supporter, but
Ann refused any help. However, she agreed to participate in
a money raiser as long as it was fun and as long as the
money went to the SLCA.
The lunch last week, called “Great Balls
of Fire” was billed as “A Roast of Ann Smith, Part 2.”
Who knew?.....how articulate, smooth,
and charming was Missouri City Police Chief Ron Echols, who
served as emcee. Echols not only read a proclamation from
County Judge Bob Hebert declaring April 12 as “Ann Smith
Day” in Fort Bend County, but he showed a police car tape of
his officers stopping a suspected DUI offender who was
standing outside his car when Ann’s house exploded. The
suspect declared, “Hey, that wasn’t me. I’m just standing
Roast and Toasters JoAnn Stevens, Linda
Marsters, Louis Garvin, and Ann’s brother County
Commissioner James Patterson told some funny stories. Garvin
showed a copy of the National Enquirer which had a full page
devoted to Ann’s miracle although another Ann was on the
cover (Anna Nicole). Patterson said he was always
intimidated by Ann since she told everyone they got him
(Patterson) out of a Sears & Roebuck catalogue. “I knew that
anything you got from Sears you could return if it didn’t
satisfy you,” he teased.
The luncheon ended with a serenade by
Noel Mascarenhas, Sugar Land Mayor Dave Wallace, and Dr. Joe
The men took some “fire” songs, rewrote
them to fit the situation, and sang them to Ann.
Noel Mascarenhas played the part of the
“trailer” guy on the Geico commercial, while Wallace sang
and Dr. Anzaldua played the keyboard. They presented such
songs as “Rocket Ann (Rocket Man), Wash My Hair (Light My
Fire), Proud Ann (Proud Mary), Hunka, Hunka Burning Love,
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, and Great Balls of Fire.”
It brought the house down.
Don’t tell my kids.....Someone
pointed out to me that last week I told everyone in this
column that May 12 was the last day to register to vote for
the school board and city elections. Boy is my face red! I
should have said that April 12 was the last day to register
for the May 12 election. Of course, that ship has sailed.
My kids accuse me of being forgetful.
They claim they’re afraid I’m going to go off and leave
their kids (my grandchildren) someplace. I don’t think that
is going to happen but it does give me an idea. If I’m ever
stopped by a policeman, I’m going to say, “What! Am I