Iíve gone deaf in one ear for exactly
Last week, one morning when I woke up, I
heard a ringing and it was not the alarm clock. Then, I
turned on the radio and realized my right ear was muffled.
Of course, I shrugged it all off as a sign of under-sleeping
and went to school.
All throughout class, whenever people
talked to me, I had to turn a complete one-eighty and give
them an apologetic glance before explaining that Iíve
suddenly aged sixty years.
At night, I spent a whole evening puffing
my face purple to try and pop any foreign object out. When
that failed, I hopped rigorously on one leg until sweat
beads began to form on my face. After futile attempt number
two, I went to the medicine cabinet to pour a whole cap of
hydrogen peroxide down my ear, knowing that it helps
No luck. No luck. No luck. For five whole
days, I walked around school like an alien, hearing that
constant ringing, now newly coupled with a thump-thump,
obviously my own heart pounding blood into the congested
Nights, I couldnít sleep, for the noise
and my constant picking led me into a furious frenzy that I
thought I might go crazy. Frustration bordering fear clawed
at me as the fifth day rolled around and nothing was getting
I telephoned the doctor, arranging for an
appointment. I mentally prepared myself for the most
terrible truth: Alice, Iím sorry to inform you, but you have
a terrible ear infection, your eardrum has been pierced, and
you will be deaf within a week. Arrrrrrrrh!
The next day, after lying on a sterile
bed in a sterile room at the docís with oily eardrops in my
ear for half an hour, the doc took a look inside. Then, he
laughed and nodded his head. Oh no! Now heís going to tell
me horrible truth. Prepare yourselves.
ďAlice, I canít even see through your ear
because thereís a pile of earwax stuffed all the way to your
Ha. Ha. Ha. I let out a big relief,
albeit a little disgusted with myself. How could I pile on
that load of crumbly matter when I clean my ears regularly?
But I learned a lot at the docís that
day. Apparently, a Q-tip clean never gets all of it out,
instead it pushes all the good stuff in and in, until
everything condenses. For 17 years in my case. Thatís why I
hear all the muffled sound and ringing because something is
touching my eardrum. Instead, a store-bought eardrop would
help dissolve the nasty little boogers. Never ever Q-tip
your way out.
After the drops, the doctor took out a
mini water gun(of course a more sophisticated instrument for
which I do not have the name) and used the water pressure to
clean it out. They came in crumbles, strings, and rocks
(sorry for the rich description). And suddenly, with a
literal pop, I could hear again.
What a great feeling that was! To be able
to hear after a week-long sojourn into the land of the
fearful unknown. It made me think really, how lucky I am to
have everything on my body perfectly functioning. Another
lesson of not taking things for granted, and always cleaning
your ears right!