Everyone knows that Fort Bend County Sheriff Milton Wright is a tried and true Republican and now all the media knows that his public relations officer is apparently of the same ilk. Bright and early Monday morning, during the height of deadline pressure, in comes one of those “I’ve warned everyone not to send this type of message” e-mails that takes forever and a day to download.

I soon found out—not once, but twice this wasn’t from a bon-bon eating person with nothing better in life to do but send out these types of messages. It was from Terriann Carlson, Public Information Officer and Crime Victim Liaison Coordinator at the sheriff’s department and it contained a power point demonstration depicting presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton as something akin to a donkey. So, along came a second e-mail of the same stupid power point joke and a third from Terriann apologizing to the media (and we are not just talking local here but Houston and Associated Press as well) for sending out this “unprofessional” e-mail by mistake. I am sure this e-mail was meant to be sent to personal contacts and the courthouse crowd, certainly not to every reporter between here and Washington D.C.

Now we know what government employees do to get an early morning boost. Forget the caffeine, political statements are the in thing—on government time and taxpayer money.

Last week Gov. Rick Perry made an executive order mandating vaccinations for 11 and 12 year old girls that supposedly halt the virus that sometimes leads to cervical cancer. There is nothing wrong with stopping cancer in any form but no one can say the vaccination is 100% safe. What if they discover in a few years that this vaccine has far reaching complications such as infertility or the development of another unrelated cancer? How horrendous would it be for the thousands of innocent teens to find their lives have been shattered or threatened because an overzealous politician, who has reportedly taken substantial contributions from the drug company developing this vaccine, allowed these girls to be guinea pigs? This issue needs to be thought out and researched before the state implements it. The safety of our children demands it.

I wonder if the state government folks have nothing better to do with their time than legislate sex in Fort Bend County? State Representative Charlie Howard thinks Perry’s mandate is all about sex. He has been quoted as saying giving a pre-teen a shot that prevents a type of cancer that comes from a sexually transmitted virus will cause the recipient to become prematurely promiscuous. Give me a break! A young girl that age is going to be more concerned about whether the shot hurts than why she has to have another school required vaccination.

Then Charlie also took the time to introduce a bill outlawing pornographic billboards that advertise topless clubs and the like. How many of these billboards dot the highways and byways of Fort Bend County—zilch! The one and only billboard or sign that has stirred the emotions of Fort Bend County’s religious right is Nooky’s Erotic Bakery located barely in Fort Bend County. The unusual bakery has a sign at Texas 6 between Bissonnet and Old Richmond Road that announces the business is a quarter mile away, and bakes up “naughty cakes for nice occasions.” And, the sign restrictions penned by Charlie wouldn’t even apply to Nooky’s. If someone wants a cake in the shape of a male or female body part, that should be up to the consumer. Nooky’s (I love saying this over and over because I know someone is gulping down prescription tranquilizers to deal with the atrocious word) doesn’t even have a suggestive sign—not if you put aside the little word and look at the picture on the sign—big red lips—now how suggestive is that? Valentine’s Day is coming and every store in the county has chocolate lips, red foil covered lips, fluffy pillow lips—you get the picture. Next thing you know that day of celebration will be legislated out of existence too.

How much you want to bet that a whole bus load of public officials from various government entities have donned trench coats and sunglasses to go in and check out Nooky’s baked goods? That was simply to insure that the county wasn’t in danger, of course. And, for a real pornographic experience that threatens to rival any brown wrapper covered mail order book, go to the state of Texas website and read Charlie’s bill (HB 880) and the detailed descriptions of what parts of the anatomy cannot be shown on the billboards. Now that took some serious study.

The sad thing is that people are dying of diseases because they can’t afford sky-rocketing medical insurance costs; children can’t even spell Nooky because they are not passing English in school; gas prices are soaring; utilities are eating up huge chunks of the average worker’s salary; crime is rising and state legislators are busy looking up definitions of the female and male anatomy while debating as to whether people in Texas, who spend millions on gambling with the Texas lottery, should be allowed to save the gas money they use to go to Louisiana to the casino, on home-based casinos. After all, according to state officials, gambling on scratch-offs and lotto tickets isn’t really sinful gambling—playing a slot machine is.