When it comes to career-choosing, I’m the queen of whimsicality.

It makes me nervous that so many friends have already pinpointed exactly what they want to do and how to get there. Prospective lawyers join debate club and take a ton of social history. Aspiring scientists load up on all the science II classes at school and can be seen hunched over lab tables with clouded goggles. Would-be writers take up journalism or creative writing, contributing profusely to the monthly school newspaper. Theatre buffs act in every school play, garnering applause and awards.

So of course, I find myself being influenced by these people and frantically searching for a career path to walk safely and proudly on. I started an addictive cycle of personality tests and self- analysis, sure that the right career was just a mouse click away. Here are my results:

Week 1: According to SparkLife personality test, I am an ‘ introverted artist’. Oh, I thought, how conveniently apt. I just happen to play the piano. I could become a concert artist traveling to Vienna with Shubert gliding under my fingers. Though there is a small problem: I don’t like practicing.

Week 2: During the organic chemistry unit, the teacher told us that organic chemists make great perfumers, concocting tantalizing Diors and Chanels with a small manipulation of chemical bonds. Now there’s a job you don’t often hear about! How exciting to create new exotic scents. But by the time the unit was over and the glaring red C passed back on the test, the perfumer idea evaporated.

Week 3: Doctor. I think everyone goes through this phase. The altruism of helping humanity and caring for others. What a noble job. Thus, I enrolled in health science class ready to contribute to human kind. However, a week later, after watching a video documenting the personal lives of prestigious doctors, the profession’s wild fluctuating hours and med school toil were exposed. I winced at the sight of blood and shivered at the cadavers.

Week 4: official lapse into desperation. Everything I choose, I destroy later. Maybe I should just give up on the search. And I did. Somehow, I felt freer. like I can be a million things at once. Or nothing at all. Or anything in between. The possibilities were endless. There’s no point in actively finding what I want to be. When the right streak of passion or talent reveals itself, I will simply know.

Now I’m fine with not knowing and just exploring. I love reading random topics of information and taking a freshly contrasting course load in school. These days the new career on my mind is journalism, but hey, maybe next week...