Voter confusion.....My favorite precinct chair from another county, Jim Bob Jumpback, emailed me that he was afraid to let the voters in his precinct try to write-in Shelley Sekula-Gibbs on the new electronic voting machines. He was fearful they would elect Sheila Jackson Lee.

I’ll eat my hat......If the national or state Republican Party gives Shelley Sekula-Gibbs the $3-4 million in campaign funds that State Chairwoman Tina Berkiser (God is our Chairman) promised if the Republicans in Congressional District 22 (that’s us folks) would field one write-in candidate.

I don’t know if Tina’s God is the Old Testament one who will rain hail, fire, and brimstone down on us sinners, or the more gentle New Testament one who is a little more understanding, maybe because he finally had kids (Jesus) of His own. But either one doesn’t approve of lying and I’m afraid Tina’s tale pushes the envelope on that one.

My friend Hill Kemp, who used to represent Brazoria and parts of Fort Bend in the Texas House but is now a consultant and author, explained it to me this way: There is a 15 seat difference between the Republicans and the Democrats for control of the U.S. House. There are 35 seats that have been termed “up for grabs” by either party. Does Tina honestly want us to believe that either the state or national Republican Party would divert funds from one of those “winnable” 35 positions to throw in the black hole of an un-winnable write-in campaign? A write-in campaign, I might add, waged by the Republican with the lest likely name for write-in voters to be able to manage?

I went online to check out the e-slate voting machine. There’s a demostration of what you can do, and I discovered that if you spell Shelley Sekula-Gibbs correctly, there are not enough spaces on the machine. Additionally, there is no “dash.”

I’m afraid that God’s gonna make a wart on Tina’s tongue.

Oh, maybe the state party will contribute a measly $400,000 plus or minus, but $3-4 million--no way! Dave Wallace is politically astute to know this. He withdrew because he knew it was a dead end and whoever ran would get an embarrassing number of votes. So few that they would not run against him in the ‘08 primary.

But then all politicians, both Democratic and Republican invoke God’s name all the time and then do all sorts of things to displease Him. Tina’s a lawyer, for cripes sake. That should be enough to atone for a half an eternity or so.

Governor MoFo....Gov. Rick Perry has a deadline of today (Tuesday) to call a special election to fill Tom DeLay’s House seat. He could have done it earlier so we wouldn’t have been without representation all these months, but Perry knew a Democrat would win.

In a special election, anyone can run from any party and whomever gets the most votes is the winner. Since about 10 Republicans would probably have run (look how many wanted the nod to replace DeLay on the ballot) and only one Nick Lampson Democrat, a Democrat probably would have won as Republicans split their votes.

I’ve heard that Perry has said that since it is only for two months, he thinks voting in a special election at the same time as the general election is just too confusing and right now the professional staff can handle the constituents’ concerns.

Voting in both elections at the same time might be too hard for the Governor Good Hair, but I think we can handle it. We do it all the time in city and school district elections.

And we do need representation. A friend of mine called DeLay’s old office last week and no one was in. Where were those “professional staffers”? Probably being deposed, I imagine.

From last week......I had several comments about my column last week when I complained about the treatment of cows during the drought in Texas. All of them grew up on ranches and agreed with me that our fathers would have sooner gone without food themselves than to starve a cow. In fact, my daddy spent mine and my brother’s college funds in order to feed his cows during the 50’s drought. I’m sure that was a financial decision as he worked to save his investment, but still he would not have let his animals degenerate to the point of the pictured cow.

When college time rolled around and he had not replaced the money, he financed a beauty shop for my mom in my old bedroom (you used to be able to do that in Texas. Many a widow woman supported herself with a home beauty shop), and she set hair from dawn to dusk to send us to college.

My friend Ursula Coates, owner of The Secretary/Tempower, is known for her love of animals and my column prompted her to call and ask people to contact any national politician they know because on September 7, the House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on H.R. 503, the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act. Currently 203 House members have cosponsored the bill to end the inhumane practice of horse slaughter. It will take a simple majority to pass in the 435 member House.

Citizens as divergent as Ursula Coates and Willie Nelson are supporting this bill which also bans the slaughter of wild mustangs still roaming the west.

Most of these horses are sold abroad because we Americans don’t eat companion animals. Look at www.house.gov. to get a list of representatives. We, of course, since Tom DeLay’s cowardly resignation, don’t have a representative, but you might call some that are near our area and particularly where you have relatives.