It’s amazing. I’ve been doing this for twelve years and still the first day of school gives me the jitters. You would think a rising senior would know it all, have seen it all, and therefore possess a cool nonchalance that first day completely unruffled by all the glittery excitement and anxiety felt by those inferior lower-classmen. But no, not me. I was as nervous and as eager as the freshman next door.

Like all girls, I went and got my nails done the day before the big event. I tried that lucky outfit on the hundredth time in front of the mirror. I couldn’t go to sleep for more than an hour because thoughts of seeing my classmates, attending new classes, and meeting new teachers flooded my brain. Then when that 6:30 alarm went off in the morning, I bemoaned the end of a sacred summer ritual: sleeping in til 10:00.

Though there is one thing different about senior year. I get to drive! That means a whole half hour of more shut-eye received than your other bus-riding lower-classmen. Oh the joy of closing the door behind you and actually seeing the sunrise!

Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, the drive to school was refreshing. While everyone else is crammed into the non-air-conditioned bus, I had my nice ac and cd at full blast in the car. After arriving, the first nerve-racker of the day was to find my friends amidst the waves of undulating heads. As I nervously smiled after entering the doors to the cafeteria where everybody was congregating, my eyes quickly skimmed the whole area for signs of the people I know. Aha! There they are! And then a heavy burden is lifted from my chest and I confidently walk to my friends.

After sharing summer stories, we headed to class. Here comes the second nerve-racker of the day. Well, second through ninth. Because upon entering each class (and I have seven of them so two plus seven is nine nerve-rackers), for a split second, I have to make the most important classroom decision of the year: where I’m going to sit. Which group of friends to be next to? Do I have friends in here at all? Maybe up there so I can see better? No, it’s too intimidating sitting right in front of the teacher.

So I wade through all my classes courageously experiencing polar emotions. Yes! I have classes with them. What? She’s in my class?! In the end, everything was fine. A couple of friends here. Some acquaintances there. Glad that that’s settled.

And the grand finale of nerve-rackers? Lunch. Lunch is the most dangerous and important challenge of them all, because nothing’s worse than not having a group to sit and eat with. As I headed towards the cafeteria, I could see several students already standing nervously around the tables, eyes frantically searching for familiar faces. There were kids walking around the area looking for a group, and even people who have agreed to meet near the restroom or library. I luckily decided to sit with some friends who just had class with me, though I did circle the cafeteria twice in search of other buddies.

After passing the last nerve-racking challenge, everything was fine and comfortable. Really, after finding a group to eat with, everything’s right with the world. It’s like you’ve proven to the whole cafeteria (lunch ladies included) you’re loved, you belong, and you’re not some loner who goes off to the corner of the library to read.

Yes. Even after twelve years of grade school and four years of high school, I still get nervous the first day. Blame it on peer pressure, my insecurities, human nature. Whatever the cause, I’m glad to be finished forever with first day nerves, one of the many benefits of being a senior.