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Bev's Burner
Some's Hot, Some's Not 

By B.K. Carter

"Bev Carter is the owner/publisher of the Fort Bend Star, winner of numerous state and national awards. She has been a voice of Fort Bend's largest circulated newspaper for 30 years."


 

Take it to the bank....Several people wondered to why Judge Bud Childers, who tried to have County Clerk Dianne Wilson arrested last week, and who I said was going to Germany to a judicial conference and tax-free vacation, showed up at the Lone Star Stomp Saturday night.

People have wondered if I was just making it all up.

Honey, if I tell you it’s gonna rain, you’d better get an umbrella. If I tell you it’s the Fourth of July, you’d better buy some firecrackers.

Bud Childers WAS going to Germany until a little thing called Eyjafjallajokull grounded half the flights to and from Europe. 

I personally think Bud threw his little tantrum last week because he thought Dianne Wilson busted him for parking in front of a “No Parking” sign and blocking a handicapped parking space. After all, it was right outside her office. 

Bud’s sense of paranoia and egomania makes him believe that somebody is out to get him. He ignores the fact that his car was in plain sight of hundreds of people who go in and out of the courthouse every day.

So, no, Judge Bud didn’t cancel his trip because of the newspaper story. A higher power and an Icelandic volcano had a hand in it. 

Math, not so much......Just after I told you my veracity is perfect, I have to admit that my math skills are sometimes lacking. Several weeks ago, I espoused that our congress should be made up of citizen draftees. At the time I said that “Let‘em serve for a few years until the lobbyists are near to corrupting them, then pick out  638 more random citizens."

Some alert reader caught my mistake and pointed it out to me. He wanted to know where I got my information. It appears I pulled it out of some part of my anatomy that you don’t want to know about.

Correction: There are 100 senators and 435 representatives for a total of 535 congress people. 

Expounding on my citizen’s congress a little more, someone wanted to know what would happen if we accidentally drafted a crazy person? My response is there are currently 535 congress people serving. What are the odds that at least one of them is crazy? Or low intelligence? Or special needs? 

If our draft rounded up these people, they would certainly be representative of our population as a whole. We could even add illegal alien, and maybe even space alien. Get it?

Why is it.....I went to Fry’s the other day. Okay, I know it’s not local and it’s one of those big box stores that I rail against so much. But it had the one thing I needed and needed fast.

But what struck me when I got there was there were over 20 checkout locations. We had to walk several hundred yards to get to the end of the checkout locations and wait for our number to be called. 

This was a busy Saturday afternoon. You would think the optimum number of checkout locations would be functioning. You would think wrong.

There were approximately three checkout registers open. We didn’t have to wait for long but what was the thinking when that many checkout registers were installed? Wishful thinking? If we build it, they will come? Impressive looks?

It’s like checkout stands at the grocery store. Have you ever been to a grocery store when all of the checkout registers were manned? 

And how ticked off do you get when you pull up to the checkout registers and there are so many other little shelves that the checkout conveyer belt is hidden? You can’t tell at a glace how many people are lined up to check out at any given register. Is this some magic grocery marketing? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve passed up a line with only one person waiting with a huge basket of groceries and gone on by to try to find someone with fewer purchases, only to have to back track and discover that my previously passed up line has now grown by two more shoppers.

I hate grocery stores.

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Contact bkcstar@earthlink.net, if you would like to express your opinions/views regarding the column. Write a SIGNED letter to the editor with valid day time phone number--name can be withheld by request.

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